Working With Kids

Working With Kids--Sometimes It Depends on the Kids

Since the Institute is starting to get funding, it's enabled me to justify cutting back my hours at the law firm in which I work.  Starting this week, I'm going to be spending two or three days a week focused on Institute work (instead of squeezing everything I need to do into lunch breaks, during the kids' weekend naps, and in the early morning hours) and the other days doing the legal secretary thing.  Today I had an Institute-focused day, but I needed to print out a couple of things prior to replacing my recently-deceased printer.  So I stopped by one of my firm's offices, taking my daughter, Alpha (who is 6), with me.  She was fantastic--she drew on my laptop, drew pictures on paper, played on my phone, and was friendly to everyone in the office.  I was able to get my work done quickly and efficiently because she was so accommodating--and she was just happy to be with me, even though we didn't get to play much on this particular morning.  Everyone who saw her seemed very glad to see her and asked me to bring her in more. 

Since Alpha was old enough to understand, I've made it clear to her that she could occasionally come to the office with me (like on weekends or on a day off if I had to drop by for a bit) but only if she was respectful of the office environment.  She understands very clearly what the expectations are and knows that the reason I continue to take her is that she is very well-mannered and nice to be around. 

I think making those sorts of expectations clear to children (and, of course, understanding your child's individual personality and working within that framework) is critical to a parenting-at-work program.  All too often,  when people think of children at work, their first thought seems to be something along the lines of "toddlers running madly through the halls destroying the computers."  That's obviously not what I'm advocating.  Part of raising children is teaching them social norms--and when a parenting-at-work program is set up with clear expectations, those "disaster" scenarios are very unlikely to happen.  What happens, instead, is that the children who come to work are the ones who are well-behaved (or, if they have a bad moment, their parent temporarily takes them away from the social situation), and they learn quickly to adjust to the culture of the workplace--so the workplace benefits from the enjoyment-of-life attitude that children exude, with none of (or very little of) the "inappropriate" behavior that so many people seem to fear about children at work. 

Children are far more intelligent and sensitive to their surroundings than many people realize.  Successful parenting-at-work programs acknowledge and enable the best in parents and children, as well as the best in society.

Example of Kids at Work

So what would children coming to the workplace actually look like? An example actually just happened today in the law firm where I work.

PRESCHOOLERS IN THE LAW FIRM

A partner in the firm brought two of his children to work for a few hours while his wife had some errands to run. They were friendly and beautiful little girls, 3 and 4 years old.

Nearly all the secretaries in the vicinity made a brief stop at his office to say hi to the girls. People walking past broke into smiles when they heard the girls' cute little voices. Even other male lawyers stopped by to say hi to the children.

NO PROBLEMS HERE

While the girls were in their father's office with the door shut, it was impossible to tell they were around. He had set them up at a little desk in his office so they could draw or color while he worked, and they appeared very content for the 2-3 hours they were here. Every time he left the office with them for a minute, the mood of those in the area changed noticeably--everyone just seemed to feel happier and more relaxed being around the energy of these happy children.

When many people--and many HR directors--think about children in the office, they seem to assume that the kids would be screaming and completely out of control. But the reality is that parents--and kids--tend to be very good at sizing up the atmosphere and behaving to fit the situation. The dozens of different types of companies across the country that allow parents to bring in babies regularly, or to bring older kids on an occasional basis, are further proof that this kind of thing can work incredibly well in a wide range of jobs.

Some might point out that while a partner in a law firm may be able to successfully bring his kids to work without disruption, a secretary without an office probably couldn't. Although the office issue is certainly a factor, the children of several secretaries in the office have also come in on various occasions. One secretary had her day care person bring her several-month-old baby every day over her lunch hour so she could breastfeed him, and after he was done eating, she would carry him through the halls and just show him around the office. Apparently, he virtually never cried while he was there and it didn't affect other employees' productivity at all. People would merely look up and smile as she would go past with her son. She got precious time with her baby and her coworkers got a "baby fix"; everyone benefited.

SHOULD KIDS AND WORK STAY SEPARATE?

There are those who say that kids have no place at work. And yes, the lawyer probably could have taken his kids to a babysitter instead, so as not to blur the line between work and family.

But who was harmed by having two well-behaved children brighten the day of over a dozen people? I have no doubt that the lawyer was still able to get work done while the children were here--just as parents at home find ways to get work done while caring for and being available for their children. It gave him, as a busy working father, an opportunity to spend more time with his kids. None of the people who said hi to the girls was distracted from their work any more than they would be while walking to get yet another cup of coffee. These visiting children learn what a job atmosphere is like, they learn how to interact with adults in society, and they learn appropriate behavior for an office environment. In many offices, children at work are sometimes asked to help with basic office tasks. This gives them feelings of self-confidence and accomplishment and teaches them responsibility.

REINTEGRATING KIDS

Wouldn't it be amazing if we embraced this concept as individuals and as a society? The fact is, many current jobs are well-suited to caring for children at the same time. Since the time of family farms, we have never been in a better position for reintegrating children into society.

Join the movement--it could help everyone.