This past weekend, we were visiting with a friend of mine who has a son of Alpha's age. My friend has one of those huge trampolines in her back yard--with no net around it. Alpha and her friend jumped on the trampoline frequently during the visit. At one point, the boy tried to jump off (the bouncy part is about 3 feet off the ground) onto the grass and ended up accidentally landing at the base of his spine instead of his feet--he was not seriously hurt but the pain bothered him the rest of the afternoon. Alpha was very careful to stay in the middle of the trampoline, and I was watching her nearly all the time, so I wasn't really that worried during the visit. The kids were discussing having a sleepover in the near future, and the boy's mother commented that they could spend a lot of time on the trampoline if Alpha could stay the entire day after a sleepover.
A couple of days later, I decided to do some research on trampoline injuries. Turns out that about 75,000 children end up in emergency rooms each year due to trampoline injuries, a significant number with spine or head injuries. I really try not to be too overprotective with Alpha (for example, I'm fine with her climbing trees, although I've taught her to test branches before putting her weight on them). But as I read article after article talking about how frequently and easily trampoline injuries happen (and remembering how rambunctious Alpha's friends could be), and considering the disastrous impact of spinal injuries, I decided that I really wasn't comfortable with Alpha being on the trampoline at all unless I was right there to watch for problems and keep things under control. I knew, however, that saying, "Alpha, you're not allowed to jump on the trampoline when you're visiting your friend by yourself," would immediately result in strong resistance to the idea. So, I called Alpha from the living room into my office (where my computer is) and said I wanted to talk to her about something. I told her about the research I had done, and I read her some of the sentences from the articles talking about the injuries that happen and the huge number of kids that get hurt. I explained what the articles said about how most injuries happen. I said that it really scared me, especially the risks of spinal injuries (she knows what paralysis is) and that even a broken arm or leg would be really painful and would impact her life for a long time. Then I asked her if she remembered her friend's injury of that past weekend. After explaining all that, I said, "I'm really not comfortable with you jumping on the trampoline when I'm not with you--I just think the risks are too high that you'll get hurt."
Alpha LOVES trampoline jumping. But after I said that, she simply said, "Okay." There was no argument. Because I had given her the details, she understood the risks, she understood that I wasn't being arbitrary, and I'm sure she appreciated that I wasn't completely eliminating her fun--I was just defining parameters (I had to be close by and monitoring things). A few seconds after she agreed, she said, "What will I say when [my friend] asks why I'm not jumping?" I told her she could just tell him that I thought it was too dangerous and wanted to be there to prevent injuries; she seemed content with that. I trust her absolutely to follow the rule--she is very good about living up to what she promises.
And that was it. No tears, no anger--just two people coming to an agreement. I wish *all* my interactions with my kids were this easy (although I'm getting better at engaging cooperation from the start--incidentally, a GREAT book about how to engage children is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk).
Edited to add: After writing this and discussing it with others, I ended up deciding that it was unrealistic to expect Alpha to be there by herself (say, on a sleepover) and to maintain her promise while everyone else was happily jumping. I talked to her last night and we came up with concrete rules for when I'm not there at all--she is going to only jump alone (a large number of injuries are due to multiple kids jumping at once) and isn't going to jump off the trampoline when she's done (she'll climb off). That should greatly minimize her risk, and it should make it much more feasible for her to keep her word under pressure.
